Water and Words

I'm sitting in a coffee shop.  A couple of ladies are sitting at a table next to me.  One is going off on other women, and what's wrong with all of them.  The other lady is awkwardly listening.  I'm guessing there have been times where one of my conversations is being eaves dropped on, and someone is sitting blogging at how apauling my words are.  Like just now I just got off the phone with my sister-in-law where I mentioned the word "sex" (none of your business what the context was!).  Then I all of sudden am reminded that sometimes I tend to talk loud when I'm on my phone, so I just totally fake that I meant to say that word, and I am comfortable enough in my own skin that if other's heard me I don't care (all the while dying inside), so I'm not above this, but I've recently read a few things that have made me a little more sensitive to my words.

Psalm 17:3b "I am determined not to sin in what I say." This is super hard!  Determined.  Not "I'm going to try not to sin in what I say", but I am DETERMINED.  That is still trying to find it's way into my psyche.  What does that look like for me?

I stopped at Hobby Lobby with my 9, 11 and 13 year old daughters in the car with me to do a quick return.  They wanted to stay in the car.  Not a big deal.  Kami has a phone, they had the keys, and Kami also knows what to do to get the windows down, etc.  Just a quick 5 minutes.  Well, I came out to the van, noticed it was running, and asked if they turned the van on (didn't remember if I left it running or not), and they all at once started telling me about this lady that frantically came up tapping on the window, "ARE YOU OK?  DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET OUT IF YOU NEED TO?  WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER?  THIS IS ILLEGAL!!  IT'S 90 DEGREES.  YOU NEED TO TURN YOUR AIR ON!"
It was 80 degrees to be exact.  So I flipped around and marched right back into the store to find this lady.  Here is how the conversation basically went...
me:   Excuse me.   Are you the lady that told my kids to turn the car on?
lady:   (in a snotty and belittling tone) Yes, I am.  I work for CPS, and what you did was illegal!  What if you had a heart attack in the store, and they were left out in the 90 degree weather?!!
me:   (my tone...defensive)  My van is running on fumes.  I don't need it running out of gas in the parking lot because a stranger told my kids to turn the van on.  My daughter is 13, she has a cell phone, they know how to roll the windows down, and they would come in if I didn't answer.  I would never have left them out there if I felt like I was putting them in danger.
lady:  IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!  It's about them and their safety.  You could have had a heart attack.
me:  I know it's not about me.  I would give my life for my kids.  And they have a phone!  You freaked them out in the way you handled that.
lady:  I work for CPS and that was illegal!
me:  And that's sad that working for CPS gives you such a power trip.  I'm a good mom.
lady:  Whatever.

So hindsight...  I probably could have had a better tone, or just left it all alone, and not said anything.  Maybe worse...  I keep thinking, "Oh, shoot!  I should have said...".  Anyhow, I was not being DETERMINED not to sin in what I said.  I had an agenda and so did she, but... "It's not about me".  It's not about getting the last word, it IS about being Jesus to anyone and everyone...UGH!  Even to those delightful people that make us feel like crap about ourselves or that refuse to believe what we know is true... the "there is no reasoning with them" type.

I just started reading "God Loves Ugly".  The author shared the following:

"A Japanese scientist took high-power photos of the molecular content of water in different settings, photographing the way water reacted when exposed to certain environmental conditions:  pollution, music, words, and sounds.  When the words "You make me sick.  I will killl you" were spoken into water or typed out and taped on the side of a glass of water, the molecules responded with disgust-- sharp, harsh, jagged figures were photographed time and time again.  On the other side of the spectrum, every time the words "love and appreciation" were released into the water, the pictures taken were of beautiful crystalline shapes that graced the water.

If every human is made up of 70% water, and the molecular structure of water responds to words, thoughts, ideas, and music, then what do you think your physical body has to endure every time you look in the mirror and either speak or think "I hate myself"?  What is created in your chemical makeup every time you hear that you are ugly, disgusting, stupid, hated, or far, far worse?"

Or what happens with the words we speak to others?  To our spouse... is it just blah, blah, blah and schedules, is it complaining, is it complimenting, is it adoring?  To our children...is it hurry up to the next thing, harping them for being irresponsible, or telling them what we are proud of them for, building into them a healthy constructive view of themselves?  Parents, siblings, friends, strangers...  whoever.  Am I DETERMINED not to sin in what I say?  :/  

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