So many memories

-I remember sitting in my height chair at a restaurant and my mom's friend, Susie Barrett, teaching me to brink from a straw.

-Playing in the playhouse in our backyard that my grandpa built for us. Yes, Angela, I still remember taking a bite of the "brownies" (mud) you made.

-My mom telling me it was time to get rid of the tattered blanket I slept with, but then she sewed a new blanket around it.

-Asking Jesus into my heart right before bed. I slept on the bottom bunk.

-Sliding into the basement down the orange carpeted ledge next to the stairs.

-Ironing leaves between wax paper in our basement. I can smell it now.

-Standing on the front of my dad's water skis on Tablerock lake with his hands on the outside of mine gripping the ski rope. 

-Our Ozark vacations with the Clarks, Barretts, Whilhites and Arnolds. Thinking all of the big kids were just the coolest. And Mr. Thomas telling Matthew and I that the homemade ice cream he was making was banana pickle ice cream. 

    -Wearing life-belts because they were way cooler than life jackets, and then jumping off the cliff.

    -Walking from the "resort" to the tiny convenience store to buy candy.

-Having constant ear infections and being so embarrassed to have to wear ear plugs and swimming caps any time I went swimming to protect my ears.

-Going swimming at the public pool, but they wouldn't let my dad in the pool because he had cut off jean shorts and not swim shorts, and I felt so bad for him (hindsight he probably was completely fine sitting on the edge in his cut offs. haha!)

-Getting spanked by Mrs. Sharon in kindergarten because I stepped out of the line.

-Being in the "Honeybees" special reading group in first grade thinking I was not smart.

-Saturday nights sitting by the fireplace in my flannel nightgown while mom put sponge rollers in our damp hair. We watched Lawrence Welk or HeeHaw while we ate Scornovacca's pizza.

-My grandparents coming over to watch us while parents would go out. They always brought us McDonalds. My grandma would rub my back til I fell asleep, and often sit at the top of the stairs to make sure we didn't get scared.

-Roller skating in the basement with my sister to the "music box" or Amy Grant's "Age to Age" album--yes, record.

-Playing in the woods with the neighbors making up all sorts of pretend worlds in their tree house.

-3rd grade teacher, Mr. Oser (Dark hair and dark mustache) crying at the end of reading us "Where the Red Fern Grows"

-3rd grade on our way home I was riding with my dad in the orange slug bug, and he said he needed to tell me something very sad. He said one of my friends, Aaron, was hit by a car at his bus stop that morning and he died. I remember as he told me we were driving by my friend, Michelle Paroline's, house. Aaron's family had just moved to Arizona, so my parents flew out for his funeral. They took a picture of him in the casket so I could see him. I remember it was in my mom's dresser drawer for years, and I would often go get the picture and just stare at it.

-Breaking my foot at camp because I had my feet crisscrossed under the teeter totter, and the other kid jumped off.

-Family camp: the smell of varnish from crafts we made, the sound of the wooden ball bouncing off the sides of the wooden box-a game we played using long sticks, the sound of people rushing to their table to eat and the chairs scooting in, leaving the camp to shop at an old department store, the sounds of moving the beds together in our cabin, the late night faint sounds through our fans of the grown ups sitting at the bonfire laughing. The bonfire smell wafting through the window. Ping pong in the basement of the Mess hall.

-Stopping at my Grandpa Hunter's house on the way home from camp (2hours from home), knowing he wasn't talking to my mom. We stayed in the car, she got out to try to talk to him. He was mowing the lawn. He just turned his back to her and wouldn't even look at her or us. So she got back in the car and cried and we left.

-Kid that was always so mean to me telling me I walk weird.

-While at piano lessons (my dad was inside just doing work of some kind while Brady was in his lesson) Angela and I were playing "Dukes of Hazard" out in our brown station wagon with the windows down (It was parked on the road). A sports car pull up behind us, stopped, then pulled up to the side of the car and stopped and these two creepy looking guys looked in at us and looked at each other and nodded. Then they pulled in front and parked their car, and got out walking towards our car so Angela yelled run! We jumped out of the car and ran into the house, and told my dad some creepy guys were outside. He jumped up and ran outside. They peeled away in their car, but my dad got their license plate number. He called the cops, and it was a stolen car. Could've been a forever life changing moment if my sister didn't think so quickly.

-4th grade teacher, Mrs. Scott, Saying "terlet" for the word "toilet", and me spelling it wrong because I had no idea what she was talking about.

-4th grade reading ahead to see where I was going to have to read when we were doing outloud reading in class so I wouldn't stumble over my words.

-4th grade-so afraid of saying something that I would get made fun of for saying because it had a double meaning. Counting ahead to find where I would have to read out loud and reading it over as much as I could before it was my turn so I didn't read it slow.

-Taking etiquette classes. We had to dress up and wear white gloves. We learned how to sit like a lady, eat with all the right manners, how to place our silverware. Once we completed the course Younkers had a fashion show, so we got to pick out an outfit from the store and model it on the runway. I felt very important.

-5th grade-Mrs. True's class watching the Challenger countdown and then explode on live tv.

-Countless Sunday nights having families over after church. I still have a dress my mom made for me that has a massive rip in it because we were running all over the house and my foot caught it on the stairs and ripped.

-My first perm! Thank you, Susie!

-6th grade- moving to a Christian school, trying out for cheerleading and not making it so I tried out for basketball. My coach was my 6th grade teacher, Miss Leverton. I knew nothing, and she so patiently taught me. She also made me and a couple of friends memorize Ephesians 4:29 (about how we talk) because we were gossiping about a girl in our class that told us people called her house to order pizzas and she would take the order. We didn't believe her. haha!

-6th grade end of year bowling party and Jeremy Cox waited for me outside of the girls bathroom to ask me to "go with him" (modern day version of "will you be my girlfriend"). I said yes because all the girls liked him, but I was so awkward and scared. I told my mom right away and we agreed to tell him "Let's just be friends". So funny.

-jr. high youth nights of playing "underground church" in our huge building. It was pitch black. the leaders would have flash lights. If they caught us we went to jail. Goal was to find the "pastor", memorize a section of a verse and take it to the whoever leader that was up in the kitchen, recite it and release our prisoners. So weird!

-My dad standing at my bedroom door to tell me that our family friend, Ed Tracy, was hit and killed by a drunk driver that morning. 

-Vail, Colorado trip with the Pattersons. 

-My dad's 40th birthday "sock it to him", and everyone brought a pair of socks.

-Starting volleyball 9th grade. I loved it, but wasn't good. My dad's good friend and my Biology teacher was my coach. He would stay after practiced and help me with my serve. (He coached basketball too, and I broke his ankle).

-I broke the record for most steals in basketball for our school. For being a not so natural athlete this felt so big to me.

-My first kiss. It was so awkward! I was so nervous. I was at a party at my friend, Kim's house. I called my sister because I didn't want to get in trouble if he kissed me. haha! so she said go for it. I'm dying right now! so funny! Then I remember feeling so uncomfortable I went and jumped on the trampoline with a friend forever because I was afraid he'd want to kiss me again. Not weird at all!

-Telling my mom about that kiss and her just asking about it and being ok with it, but talking about boundaries with me.

-Breaking up with that boy because I got scared. Started dating a senior as a Freshman. Bad idea. 

-Getting into a bad situation with that boy. I told my mom. She was so gracious, but told me I needed to tell my dad about it. I'll never forget him standing in the doorway of my room while I sat on my bed and shared. More grace, no big reactions. 

-Having my dress for prom after he asked me to go, but finding out from other people he asked another girl too--such a weird thing, but my heart was broken. Obviously, God protecting me as I look back.

-Starting to feel all the pressures. Wanting to do things I shouldn't, but loving my parents too much to do those things, knowing it would hurt them. God wasn't my reason yet.

-Going to Teen Leadership Conference and encountering God in a way I never had. It was starting to make more sense.

-Years later standing outside of my parents room listening to my mom call her dad on the phone and through tears asking him to forgive her for anything she's done to hurt him (My grandma had died when I was a baby, but he turned to weird religious things and believing stuff like God told him in a dream to marry this lady that was my mom's age. So my dad and uncle told him they didn't think that was healthy. So he cut us all out of his life for 7 years). His response to her was brokenness and then him asking her to forgive him. We only saw him a few times after that. He would have a steady stream of tears the whole time (I believe just a sad regret). His voice was exactly like Robert Kennedy.

-At 14 my best friend, Chris, got her school permit. In Iowa this meant she could drive back and forth to different school events without an adult. She had a bag phone in her car which then was the coolest thing ever. Our favorite teacher, Mr. McWilliams, would give us money to leave class and drive to the quciktrip to get a Mountain Dew for him. Of course, we loved that freedom.

-Asking a friend to meet after school to talk. I knew he'd been drinking with other friends, but he was a leader. We just talked. We were good friends. I don't really remember what happened after that.

-My dad was a pastor. That church was like family. When we left and everything surrounding it was so sad, but this was when I first started seeing God provide in the most amazing ways. From money for basketball shoes to food and jobs. My respect for my parents became more grown up.

-I went back to our old church to go to youth group, and this lady came up to me and in such a terrible judging tone said, "What are you doing here?" So I stopped going.

-Visiting a new church and a woman came up to me, looked me up and down, and said, "...you're wearing pants." It was a very legalistic church and women only wore skirts or dresses. But I remember my mom saying, "And we are ok with that." I felt so empowered by my mom to stand up for myself.

-My History teacher asking a question in class. He looked at me and wanted me to answer, but I didn't know the answer so he went off on me for being stuck up. All I said was, " I don't know". That was my last hour. I came out to the car where my dad was waiting to pick me up. I told my dad about it, and he pulled right back into the school parking lot, and went in to talk to the teacher. The teacher told him he always felt like our family didn't like him. We didn't even barely know him other than him being my teacher. I felt so fought for and protected. My dad put him in his place. Ironically they ended up having a good relationship after that.

-We moved from the home we built and had so many memories in that house that was much smaller, but the upstairs was a wide open space that my parents had made into a special hangout/bedroom for my sister and I. I loved it.

-my 16th birthday party. I had the flu the day before. We grilled burgers. my group of friends all piled into cars with windows down and music blasting (probably Michael W. Smith) on our way to a park to play volleyball.

-"Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" musical. All of my friends were in this together. We had so much fun with this one!

-Going to prom at a different school with a close childhood friend. It felt awkward only because we were like family. His mom said I looked so wholesome. haha! sweet-but immediate picture of Amish popping in my head.

-My high school grad party (I still have the red polka dot dress I wore). My mom made her sourdough rolls which all of my friends would devour whenever they were available to eat.

-Packing up a tiny little car and riding 20 hours with Jonathon Meyer to get to Clarks Summit University a week early for volleyball.

-Sitting down in the cafeteria and one of the upper classman soccer guys came and sat right across from me. First thing he said was "a moment on the lips forever on the hips", and then said something about gaining the freshman 15.

-coming home the following summer and one of my parents friends said to me "wow, you've filled out". I probably was 125 lbs. But I never thought about weight or any of that until those two comments. It became so consuming to me at that point. I went on a fat free diet (less than 10g a day). And then when I dropped the weight hearing "wow you look so skinny" so that always being my goal. 

-That second week of college noticing Jason in line for the chair lift to the alpine slide (Freshman week:we took a few buses to an amusement park). We were standing in a group talking, so I did quick figuring in my brain to stand where I would have to ride with him. It was long enough that we talked about where we were from, our majors, our families, and then went our separate ways. I saw him later that day sitting alone drinking a coke so I walked up to him and asked him if I could have a drink. 

-But weirdly I started dating another guy. My dad met this guy and just didn't have a good feeling. that was enough for me. So I ended our short 5 week relationship. We were sitting on a bench by the pond on campus, and he walked away and punched a hanging flower pot shattering it to pieces. It sealed the deal for me.

-One week later another guy asked me out, but then Jason asked me out too so I had two dates in one night. Jason won my heart so quickly though.

-That first date taking the two and half hour drive to Syracuse to watch the Chicago Bulls. BJ Armstrong went from Hawkeye to Bulls so I was all about this. Our conversation flowed so easily. 

-Our first kiss. We were at my then sister's boyfriends house for the weekend. It was superbowl Sunday 1993. Everyone had gone to bed. I was going upstairs, and he was going down stairs so we said goodnight. Then Jason pulled me in and kissed me. 

-After a couple years of dating all of the sudden feeling this confusion. Ended it with Jason, but that lasted two weeks and we got back together. So weird because I remember one girl coming over to my dorm and asking me if she could pursue him since we were broken up so I told her I guess so because it wasn't fair to say no if we weren't dating. 

-Countless late nights studying in Jackson hall

-Calling home for $.10 a minute from my phone with the cord attached in my dorm room. I had an answering machine with that too.

-Spring break to Ocean City with friends. Jason and Jeff were messing around just running and colliding in the air on the boardwalk that first night we were there resulting in Jason breaking his arm. We still had fun after the ER visit.

-Our Spring break trip with about 60 from our class. We took two 60 foot "yachts" (glorified sailboats). Took these boats from Miami to the Bahamas. Full on camping. The worst. We hit 8-12 foot waves in the middle of the night. It was so terrifying! It was like flying up a ramp, catching air and then as the boat would crash back down to the water it would make a loud crack noise like the boat was going to fall apart.

-Our senior year homecoming weekend. I had just finished my volleyball game so I ran back to my room to shower quick so I could get to Jason's soccer game. My hair was wet. I threw on an oversized sweatshirt and baggy jeans. And then at halftime they honored the seniors. Jason was the last. As they were talking about him over the loud speaker he ran up into the sidelines, grabbed my hand and pulled me out to mid field. Jeff and Buddy read a letter Jason wrote me over the speaker. Ryan, Mark and Tim stood behind us holding flowers. Jason got down on his knee and sang a song to me which he cringes so bad over now! haha! and he proposed. It was such a fun weekend. Both of our families were there.

-Graduating from college, packing my things and this is so weird, but I said goodbye to Jason (he lived in NY and I was going home to Iowa), but then I just left because I didn't want to cry and goodbyes were awkward so I didn't even say goodbye to my friends.

-Wedding dress shopping in what used to be a children's clothing boutique called the "Gingerbread house". It was an old historic house that I used to love to shop in when I was little, but it was now a wedding dress boutique. Jason's mom was very concerned about the modesty of my dress.

-That summer about one month later I flew out to NY for Angela and Jason's kidney transplant surgery.

-Our wedding day: It was a misty and rainy day. We went to the salon and all got our hair done together. Thankfully, my high school BFF, Chris was a stylist because some girls didn't love their hair so she redid a few. My sister did my makeup. We waited in the stairwell as my flower girl danced up and down the long isle to "Butterfly Kisses". I felt the emotion welling up in me. My dad saw my eyes fill with tears, and then his filled and he said, "Don't do this. I have to hold it together." because he was officiating our whole ceremony. We had way too many songs throughout the ceremony, but the best was Jason singing a song he had written for me. It was the first time I'd ever heard it. So so special. The day was absolutely perfect with all of the people we loved there to celebrate with us.