Bookending 2019
Reading is not my favorite. I didn't like reading growing up. It's boring (some of you just said, "We can't be friends"). And to stay focused is so hard for my brain. I just couldn't find anything interesting enough to hold my attention. But the last five years or so even though I get distracted easily I've grown to crave it. Problem is I sit down, and if anyone is home I'm constantly interrupted, or I look around me and my pile of laundry is screaming "I've been here for three days!". But I've found that the elliptical or stair stepper at the YMCA is one of my best reading spots. Already I can't underline straight to save my life. Add to that trying to underline or write a note in the margin while doing steps. My books look like a toddler went nuts with a pen, but I get the job done, and because I'm such a task driven person it gives me a weird high when I am able to do two things at once... Actually it's three because I listen to music. #overachiever
My favorite place to read this past year, though, was sitting next to my mom. I would often look up to count how many seconds between her breaths or look over to see my dad's face watching her or doing his own reading.
I typically choose books that talk about life or specific topics. I'm not much of a novel girl. Just give me the movie (now some of you hate me for that, but popcorn, hot tamales, diet coke and a movie just rank really high on my list of favorites).
Last year I made a few resolutions. One was to pray specifically for my family every day and also to pray for specific people on certain days of the week. Prayer also is not an easy discipline for me. I journaled some through that. It was so good for my relationship with God, but when my mom started getting really sick my whole heart was focused on praying for her and my dad and the rest of my family.
I also made a resolution to read 12 books. I didn't know which books they would be yet, and obviously, didn't know what the year ahead was going to look like or feel like. So my year started off with books I had heard about by different leaders I follow on Instagram, but then again as my mom started declining my focus quickly changed to heaven and grief. So for my reader friends I thought I'd give my two cents on each of the books I read this past year.
7 Women and the Secrets of their Greatness by Eric Metaxas
I skimmed through parts of this before, but then read it cover to cover this last year. The author gives a short biography on seven influential women such as Mother Theresa and Rosa Parks type of world changers. Wow! I loved this read. Talk about some serious feminine strength. It's so inspiring, and as a girl mom I'd say this is great to read and retell to our daughters young and old.
Gay Girl Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
We need this. This woman is a solid, funny, strong and talented black woman with an all too common story. She loves Jesus and preaches Jesus through artistic writing, poetry and teaching. The LGBTQ conversation is a hard one. Her writing is different from anything I've read. She has a gift for sure. Can I side note that disagreeing does not mean hate--for crying out loud Jason and I disagree on stuff. My kids and I disagree on all sorts of things, but, DUH! I love them fiercely regardless. Disagreeing is not "hate-speech". Ok? Ok. Just to give you a small glimpse... "Unbelief sees sin as a good thing and thus God's commands as a stumbling block to joy." The whole context is better, but this is just something anyone on either side of the discussion should read. I have so much respect for Jackie and the risk she took in publishing this.
New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp
My sister in law, Bekah gave this to me at Thanksgiving in 2018. She loved it. It's a short devotional for each day of the year. So every morning I read the devo of the day and the Bible passage recommended to read along with it. I didn't feel like it was an earth shattering awesome book, but I liked the steady diet and guide to scripture.
Praying Circles by Mark Patterson
If you're a parent read this. It's short and easy and rich. This was one I read in the morning connecting into my time with God. It's not just on prayer, but has some really good parenting advice. "If you always interrupt the consequences of your child's actions, you short-circuit the full development of their conscience. I know it's awfully hard to hold back your hand, but that's how your kids learn to hold the hand of God." WHOA! Well, that just makes a ton of sense. I needed this, and it's tucked in the back of my mind especially as we are trying our best to be vigilant and on top of certain behaviors with the boys.
Finding Freedom by Jeff Barrows
Call me biased, but this is good! Jeff is a dear friend of ours. He and his wife have been mentors and become like family. They loved us and loved our kids so well in Ohio when we had no family nearby. Jeff is a retired OB-GYN who has a passion for rehabilitating girls who have been held captive to sex trafficking. This is a novel. I know I said I'm not a novel person, but this was good (not just because he uses our names--haha)! He uses story format to educate and inform the reader of the realities. Honestly, the most powerful thing to me was his description of spiritual warfare and the insane battle between demons and angels over our souls. It was timely for me as I'm really wanting to make prayer more of a natural and constant focus. You can find this book on amazon.
50 Days of Heaven by Randy Alcorn
I found this in our basement. I was organizing our books and set it aside, but felt like if I started reading it then I was just resigning to losing my mom. So I just left it for a while, but then when I was going to be flying out to visit I grabbed it to read on the plane. I saw that book in my dad's stack of books he was reading. Just knowing what's ahead for someone you love so much is good especially when she loved Jesus with everything. I would recommend this to anyone that is searching for answers of what happens when we die. I was so encouraged that everything this author shared was backed up with specific scripture. It wasn't just a hopeful imagination. Obviously, some things we can't fully know, but the knowledge and information we are given in scripture provides such peace. He believes that our loved ones can witness different events in our lives. Wow, this was good for me to understand. "People in heaven are not frail beings whose joy can be preserved only by shielding them from what's really going on in the universe! Happiness in heaven is not based on ignorance, but on perspective."
Imagine Heaven by John Burke
A friend who I admire and fully trust, Deb Roberts, who has texted prayers and scripture to me since my mom's diagnosis sent this to me. I devoured it. I was so hungry for more about heaven especially after my mom was gone. I know Jesus is there, but I couldn't shake this feeling and constant wonder if she was ok. My human-ness just kept needing to know, though. She loved my dad and us kids and her grandkids more than life and now was separated, so my natural thought was that she is lonely and sad even though I believe what the Bible says. This author uses a lot of scripture to back up stories that he has collected from non-connected people all over the world in their near death experiences. The massive common denominator is that they didn't want to come back. They were so thrilled to be in the presence of God that it was worth leaving this world. That sounds slightly morbid to not want to come back, but on this side it just makes me happy to know that she is where she is supposed to be, and even more where she wants to be.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
Sue Beikert. Ugh, she and her family need to be in Lowell, but for now are not. She lost her mom a few years ago and knew this journey well so has sent me sweet texts of encouragement, and she sent me this book. Who doesn't love C.S. Lewis? This is just a collection of his raw journal entries after losing his wife. RAW. Good, bad and ugly. He talks about how stupid people can be with words or lack there of. I laugh and then get angry because it's so true! He talks about the whole spectrum of emotions from despair to laughter and joy. It's like sitting and listening to a friend lament over their broken heart (except none of my friends talk "CS Lewis") and identifying from my perspective. Some emotions or conclusions he shares are disturbing, but he is not editing his heart. We shouldn't edit our grieving hearts so it was ok to read that side of him too.
Hope When it Hurts by Kristen Wetherell & Sarah Walton
One of my mom's lifelong friends brought this to her funeral and gave one to each of us. She's stepped in and sent birthday gifts to everyone who's had birthdays since my mom passed away and been praying for our family over specific stuff. So grateful for Sue and Dave Uibel! This is a really good book with daily perspective especially for someone going through ongoing heartache or sickness. The two authors have Lyme's disease so they know suffering and talk candidly about how to press into it and through it to continue to find purpose in the pain.
A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser
Kimball Dlouhy gave me this book. They lost their son in a car accident days before his graduation. I'll never forget I was at a soccer tournament with a bunch of church families and kids who were good friends with Alex. Jason called me on his way to their house. It felt like slow motion. Alex was so kind. My girls were younger, but he would acknowledge them. He would stop to talk to me in his sheepish demeanor whenever I saw him. What a deep and heavy loss. Kimball told Jason that he read a lot of books, but this was really the only one that he felt touched down where his heart was and is. My dad is listening to this on audible. His grief counselor also recommended it. If you are looking for a book on the journey through grief this is hard, but so good. The author faced horrible tragedy. So much of what he says just normalizes the weight for me. He talks about just sudden tears that make it hard to gain composure coming unexpectedly in public places. He talks about the depression and just natural withdrawal from all things interactive and social, but the need to press out of that. "I wanted to pray but had no idea what to say, as if struck dumb by my own pain. Groans became the only language I could use." And isn't that beautiful when we know that Romans 8:26 tells us that when we don't know how to pray the spirit prays for us with groans that can't be expressed in words. "The pain I felt in the loss reflects the pure pleasure I had in knowing them."
One Minute After You Die by Erwin Lutzer
My dad said this is really good on audio because this guys voice is captivating to listen to. So I may do that too. But my dad suggested this. It's not long and I really love taking in this stuff. The more I learn about heaven and dying the more peace I have. It doesn't take away my own loss, but it lessens the heaviness of it. Similar to me is Kami and Aly going to college four hours away. I miss them terribly. I don't like being separated from them, but I love that they love where they are. Kami's sophomore year was terrible because she cried the whole drive back to school, didn't want to go back, but knew she was where she should be. That was awful for me to leave her there. This year both she and Aly are thriving, loving the nursing program, loving friendships, loving the school...that doesn't make me not miss them, but it does make me so happy for them that I don't want them to just stop what they are doing and move back home. And here is a good perspective from Lutzer too. "People save their money, block out their vacation schedules, and purchase airline tickets. All that just for a two-week journey. I wonder how many of us are giving at least that much attention to our final destination."
Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot by Mo Isom
Trustworthy by Lysa Terkeurst
Confession. I haven't even started this yet. I got it for Christmas, but have been in the middle of so many other books. I can't wait to dive in, though. All of Lysa's books are so good. I listen to her podcast some too. She has a hard story and so much to give us in her insights and wisdom.
Ok, so that's it for the book list and my short condensed thoughts on each. I may reach another goal at then end of this year and have more to share. It gets me to workout, and I need to workout for my mental health more than even my physical health, so I'm sure I'll be scribbling on a few more books in the future.
My favorite place to read this past year, though, was sitting next to my mom. I would often look up to count how many seconds between her breaths or look over to see my dad's face watching her or doing his own reading.
I typically choose books that talk about life or specific topics. I'm not much of a novel girl. Just give me the movie (now some of you hate me for that, but popcorn, hot tamales, diet coke and a movie just rank really high on my list of favorites).
Last year I made a few resolutions. One was to pray specifically for my family every day and also to pray for specific people on certain days of the week. Prayer also is not an easy discipline for me. I journaled some through that. It was so good for my relationship with God, but when my mom started getting really sick my whole heart was focused on praying for her and my dad and the rest of my family.
I also made a resolution to read 12 books. I didn't know which books they would be yet, and obviously, didn't know what the year ahead was going to look like or feel like. So my year started off with books I had heard about by different leaders I follow on Instagram, but then again as my mom started declining my focus quickly changed to heaven and grief. So for my reader friends I thought I'd give my two cents on each of the books I read this past year.
7 Women and the Secrets of their Greatness by Eric Metaxas
I skimmed through parts of this before, but then read it cover to cover this last year. The author gives a short biography on seven influential women such as Mother Theresa and Rosa Parks type of world changers. Wow! I loved this read. Talk about some serious feminine strength. It's so inspiring, and as a girl mom I'd say this is great to read and retell to our daughters young and old.
Gay Girl Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
We need this. This woman is a solid, funny, strong and talented black woman with an all too common story. She loves Jesus and preaches Jesus through artistic writing, poetry and teaching. The LGBTQ conversation is a hard one. Her writing is different from anything I've read. She has a gift for sure. Can I side note that disagreeing does not mean hate--for crying out loud Jason and I disagree on stuff. My kids and I disagree on all sorts of things, but, DUH! I love them fiercely regardless. Disagreeing is not "hate-speech". Ok? Ok. Just to give you a small glimpse... "Unbelief sees sin as a good thing and thus God's commands as a stumbling block to joy." The whole context is better, but this is just something anyone on either side of the discussion should read. I have so much respect for Jackie and the risk she took in publishing this.
New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp
My sister in law, Bekah gave this to me at Thanksgiving in 2018. She loved it. It's a short devotional for each day of the year. So every morning I read the devo of the day and the Bible passage recommended to read along with it. I didn't feel like it was an earth shattering awesome book, but I liked the steady diet and guide to scripture.
Praying Circles by Mark Patterson
If you're a parent read this. It's short and easy and rich. This was one I read in the morning connecting into my time with God. It's not just on prayer, but has some really good parenting advice. "If you always interrupt the consequences of your child's actions, you short-circuit the full development of their conscience. I know it's awfully hard to hold back your hand, but that's how your kids learn to hold the hand of God." WHOA! Well, that just makes a ton of sense. I needed this, and it's tucked in the back of my mind especially as we are trying our best to be vigilant and on top of certain behaviors with the boys.
Finding Freedom by Jeff Barrows
Call me biased, but this is good! Jeff is a dear friend of ours. He and his wife have been mentors and become like family. They loved us and loved our kids so well in Ohio when we had no family nearby. Jeff is a retired OB-GYN who has a passion for rehabilitating girls who have been held captive to sex trafficking. This is a novel. I know I said I'm not a novel person, but this was good (not just because he uses our names--haha)! He uses story format to educate and inform the reader of the realities. Honestly, the most powerful thing to me was his description of spiritual warfare and the insane battle between demons and angels over our souls. It was timely for me as I'm really wanting to make prayer more of a natural and constant focus. You can find this book on amazon.
50 Days of Heaven by Randy Alcorn
I found this in our basement. I was organizing our books and set it aside, but felt like if I started reading it then I was just resigning to losing my mom. So I just left it for a while, but then when I was going to be flying out to visit I grabbed it to read on the plane. I saw that book in my dad's stack of books he was reading. Just knowing what's ahead for someone you love so much is good especially when she loved Jesus with everything. I would recommend this to anyone that is searching for answers of what happens when we die. I was so encouraged that everything this author shared was backed up with specific scripture. It wasn't just a hopeful imagination. Obviously, some things we can't fully know, but the knowledge and information we are given in scripture provides such peace. He believes that our loved ones can witness different events in our lives. Wow, this was good for me to understand. "People in heaven are not frail beings whose joy can be preserved only by shielding them from what's really going on in the universe! Happiness in heaven is not based on ignorance, but on perspective."
Imagine Heaven by John Burke
A friend who I admire and fully trust, Deb Roberts, who has texted prayers and scripture to me since my mom's diagnosis sent this to me. I devoured it. I was so hungry for more about heaven especially after my mom was gone. I know Jesus is there, but I couldn't shake this feeling and constant wonder if she was ok. My human-ness just kept needing to know, though. She loved my dad and us kids and her grandkids more than life and now was separated, so my natural thought was that she is lonely and sad even though I believe what the Bible says. This author uses a lot of scripture to back up stories that he has collected from non-connected people all over the world in their near death experiences. The massive common denominator is that they didn't want to come back. They were so thrilled to be in the presence of God that it was worth leaving this world. That sounds slightly morbid to not want to come back, but on this side it just makes me happy to know that she is where she is supposed to be, and even more where she wants to be.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
Sue Beikert. Ugh, she and her family need to be in Lowell, but for now are not. She lost her mom a few years ago and knew this journey well so has sent me sweet texts of encouragement, and she sent me this book. Who doesn't love C.S. Lewis? This is just a collection of his raw journal entries after losing his wife. RAW. Good, bad and ugly. He talks about how stupid people can be with words or lack there of. I laugh and then get angry because it's so true! He talks about the whole spectrum of emotions from despair to laughter and joy. It's like sitting and listening to a friend lament over their broken heart (except none of my friends talk "CS Lewis") and identifying from my perspective. Some emotions or conclusions he shares are disturbing, but he is not editing his heart. We shouldn't edit our grieving hearts so it was ok to read that side of him too.
Hope When it Hurts by Kristen Wetherell & Sarah Walton
One of my mom's lifelong friends brought this to her funeral and gave one to each of us. She's stepped in and sent birthday gifts to everyone who's had birthdays since my mom passed away and been praying for our family over specific stuff. So grateful for Sue and Dave Uibel! This is a really good book with daily perspective especially for someone going through ongoing heartache or sickness. The two authors have Lyme's disease so they know suffering and talk candidly about how to press into it and through it to continue to find purpose in the pain.
A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser
Kimball Dlouhy gave me this book. They lost their son in a car accident days before his graduation. I'll never forget I was at a soccer tournament with a bunch of church families and kids who were good friends with Alex. Jason called me on his way to their house. It felt like slow motion. Alex was so kind. My girls were younger, but he would acknowledge them. He would stop to talk to me in his sheepish demeanor whenever I saw him. What a deep and heavy loss. Kimball told Jason that he read a lot of books, but this was really the only one that he felt touched down where his heart was and is. My dad is listening to this on audible. His grief counselor also recommended it. If you are looking for a book on the journey through grief this is hard, but so good. The author faced horrible tragedy. So much of what he says just normalizes the weight for me. He talks about just sudden tears that make it hard to gain composure coming unexpectedly in public places. He talks about the depression and just natural withdrawal from all things interactive and social, but the need to press out of that. "I wanted to pray but had no idea what to say, as if struck dumb by my own pain. Groans became the only language I could use." And isn't that beautiful when we know that Romans 8:26 tells us that when we don't know how to pray the spirit prays for us with groans that can't be expressed in words. "The pain I felt in the loss reflects the pure pleasure I had in knowing them."
One Minute After You Die by Erwin Lutzer
My dad said this is really good on audio because this guys voice is captivating to listen to. So I may do that too. But my dad suggested this. It's not long and I really love taking in this stuff. The more I learn about heaven and dying the more peace I have. It doesn't take away my own loss, but it lessens the heaviness of it. Similar to me is Kami and Aly going to college four hours away. I miss them terribly. I don't like being separated from them, but I love that they love where they are. Kami's sophomore year was terrible because she cried the whole drive back to school, didn't want to go back, but knew she was where she should be. That was awful for me to leave her there. This year both she and Aly are thriving, loving the nursing program, loving friendships, loving the school...that doesn't make me not miss them, but it does make me so happy for them that I don't want them to just stop what they are doing and move back home. And here is a good perspective from Lutzer too. "People save their money, block out their vacation schedules, and purchase airline tickets. All that just for a two-week journey. I wonder how many of us are giving at least that much attention to our final destination."
Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot by Mo Isom
Read this even if you feel awkward reading it. We are in a sex focused, sexually confused and messed up world and the enemy is loving it. I love this authors approach. She shares her rocky and hard story and the redemption she found. But she is very candid and unafraid to offend of step on toes. She has permission to when she's been there. It starts with the smallest thing like what we watch or listen to and fill our minds with, and then we use the foolish line "I can handle it". It's a lie we believe that leads us to destruction. Bottom line is sex is awesome and fun, but it's also sacred and complicated and I believe it's one of the top things that Satan uses to mess up our world and to take us out. I know these are strong words, but I've had too many conversations with too many people that are so confused and struggling with their view on sex or they are drowning in the cesspool that we've normalized--casual sex, casual looking, casually curious....We've become casual and that's the problem. All guards are down. Yep, I'll keep going so ending on that, but I care a lot about this. Good book.
Embraced by Lysa Terkeurst
I got this for each one of my girls and one for me so we are reading through this together. It's a short daily devotional. It's really simple and not terribly deep, but Lysa is currently my favorite author and we aren't far into the book so I need to give it time. Regardless, she is wise and sometimes simple things are exactly what we need.Trustworthy by Lysa Terkeurst
Confession. I haven't even started this yet. I got it for Christmas, but have been in the middle of so many other books. I can't wait to dive in, though. All of Lysa's books are so good. I listen to her podcast some too. She has a hard story and so much to give us in her insights and wisdom.
Ok, so that's it for the book list and my short condensed thoughts on each. I may reach another goal at then end of this year and have more to share. It gets me to workout, and I need to workout for my mental health more than even my physical health, so I'm sure I'll be scribbling on a few more books in the future.
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