From Home to Home
Change is hard. That's why we hear don't have a baby, change jobs, move and buy a new house in the same year. Even if it's all good change it still has challenge attached in there somewhere.
Six years ago our house was busting at the seams with our many children. Sharing a bathroom with four females was less than optimal for Jason, but the four of us sharing with the three boys... enough said. We knew we needed to find more space. Long story short we had a dream opportunity to build because friends sold us land for way below market value and our builder friend cut a lot of his cost and helped us do it as economically as possible. We were so excited...but as I began packing up our things in boxes I was flooded with emotion and nostalgia. The idea of leaving this place filled with memories was sad.
Tay took her first steps in that living room of 121 Parnell, she also emptied vaseline on the carpet at the top of the stairs and took a marker to the furniture. Her best friend, Emily, and she had countless playdates with their babies and American girl dolls. I loved standing outside of their room eaves dropping on their imaginative play. Tay's fear and anxiety was birthed by that front door after news of Nathan's death. His mom came and sat on the floor in that living room with the girls and prayed over them.
I remember Aly sitting at the bottom of those stairs screaming. There was no reasoning with her. She was dressed head to toe in her snow stuff, but "It's fat and I can't curl my toes in my boots". So I picked her up and we all went out to play in the snow anyway with the background sound of Aly's freakout. She had her "Dora" birthday party when she turned four and then her princess tea party when she turned five. She was so particular about her hair and dress that day. It was a Sleeping beauty dress that moved on her like a bell. Jason played the dragon and chased the girls around the backyard. At one point we couldn't find Aly... She had escaped to her room to read books haha!
I remember a heavy day for Jason. He came home and just sat on the couch and Kami could sense it. She came and sat next to him and just cried, and then we all cried. Kami had her pre-middle school cake decorating party at our house filled with moms and daughters. That house was where we came home after a scary accident that could've been so much worse, but thankfully only staples in the back of Kami's head. I remember sitting on the floor in her room just staring at her through thankful tears. 121 is where she laid on the couch eating popsicles recovering from a tonsillectomy.
The girls first daddy/daughter dances began with them getting dolled up and cascading in slow motion down the stairs for dad's first look because they are dramatic like that. From the day we moved in to the day we moved out those walls saw our girls dance and play wedding countless times. They saw the girls flip over jason's legs. We would push furniture to the side and play circus. These walls saw many pretty awesome made up dances from the Holdridge/Nellis girls. They heard the giggles of where Jason acted out Jimifin stories at bedtime.
That house was our boys first home. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and Josh saying, "home". I remember waking up with Caleb to feed him in the middle of the night and rocking that squishy little body. I remember holding Josh as he would scream from night terrors. And then all of us cheering on Caleb as he took his first steps where Tay did. I remember freaking out when I saw how high Jason was pushing the boys on the tire swing as they giggled in clueless delight.
We had five different people make our basement their home while in time of transition. I'll never forget the day Dave got married. He wouldn't be coming home to our home anymore. We came in from an evening of wedding celebration, and Kami walked straight to the top of the stairs and burst into tears, "I'm going to miss Dave." I loved how I would be making dinner and he would sit at the piano and take requests from the girls. What precious memories!
So that last night after we put the boys to bed we laid on the floor with the girls and shared memories and cried. The truest feelings of bitter sweet were overwhelming to us. So sad to leave the place that held some of our dearest memories, but so excited to start a new adventure.
Man, did it ever feel like that Sunday night as we gathered to worship in our half constructed new worship space for Impact. I was standing next to Aly as she erupted into tears. She said the old space holds so many memories: kid zone dance parties, exploration of arts, just running around with friends while parents are talking forever after church, a hilarious list of costumes worn to every single trunk or treat. All three of our girls were baptized there.
So many life changing moments took place for so many of our Impact family in that space at 1070 Hudson. Lives transformed. Relationships restored. Gifts discovered. It's a special place.
But there is a bond for some that goes even deeper. That space was where so many discovered the unconditional love of Jesus that gives hope and peace and purpose. Lives were changed. And so many weddings were celebrated... So many gorgeous brides walked down that center isle. But also so much heartbreak. So many funerals and goodbyes. So much heaviness. The walls of that space have heard the loudest hardy laughter and the deepest heart wrenching cries.
So it's ok to mourn in change when it's good or bad because it's good to remember. we have sung this song a lot at Impact, and I listened to it this morning it made me think of our Impact family. Mountain tops and battle fields. Rejoicing and mourning. Laughter and Tears.
Six years ago our house was busting at the seams with our many children. Sharing a bathroom with four females was less than optimal for Jason, but the four of us sharing with the three boys... enough said. We knew we needed to find more space. Long story short we had a dream opportunity to build because friends sold us land for way below market value and our builder friend cut a lot of his cost and helped us do it as economically as possible. We were so excited...but as I began packing up our things in boxes I was flooded with emotion and nostalgia. The idea of leaving this place filled with memories was sad.
Tay took her first steps in that living room of 121 Parnell, she also emptied vaseline on the carpet at the top of the stairs and took a marker to the furniture. Her best friend, Emily, and she had countless playdates with their babies and American girl dolls. I loved standing outside of their room eaves dropping on their imaginative play. Tay's fear and anxiety was birthed by that front door after news of Nathan's death. His mom came and sat on the floor in that living room with the girls and prayed over them.
I remember Aly sitting at the bottom of those stairs screaming. There was no reasoning with her. She was dressed head to toe in her snow stuff, but "It's fat and I can't curl my toes in my boots". So I picked her up and we all went out to play in the snow anyway with the background sound of Aly's freakout. She had her "Dora" birthday party when she turned four and then her princess tea party when she turned five. She was so particular about her hair and dress that day. It was a Sleeping beauty dress that moved on her like a bell. Jason played the dragon and chased the girls around the backyard. At one point we couldn't find Aly... She had escaped to her room to read books haha!
I remember a heavy day for Jason. He came home and just sat on the couch and Kami could sense it. She came and sat next to him and just cried, and then we all cried. Kami had her pre-middle school cake decorating party at our house filled with moms and daughters. That house was where we came home after a scary accident that could've been so much worse, but thankfully only staples in the back of Kami's head. I remember sitting on the floor in her room just staring at her through thankful tears. 121 is where she laid on the couch eating popsicles recovering from a tonsillectomy.
The girls first daddy/daughter dances began with them getting dolled up and cascading in slow motion down the stairs for dad's first look because they are dramatic like that. From the day we moved in to the day we moved out those walls saw our girls dance and play wedding countless times. They saw the girls flip over jason's legs. We would push furniture to the side and play circus. These walls saw many pretty awesome made up dances from the Holdridge/Nellis girls. They heard the giggles of where Jason acted out Jimifin stories at bedtime.
That house was our boys first home. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and Josh saying, "home". I remember waking up with Caleb to feed him in the middle of the night and rocking that squishy little body. I remember holding Josh as he would scream from night terrors. And then all of us cheering on Caleb as he took his first steps where Tay did. I remember freaking out when I saw how high Jason was pushing the boys on the tire swing as they giggled in clueless delight.
We had five different people make our basement their home while in time of transition. I'll never forget the day Dave got married. He wouldn't be coming home to our home anymore. We came in from an evening of wedding celebration, and Kami walked straight to the top of the stairs and burst into tears, "I'm going to miss Dave." I loved how I would be making dinner and he would sit at the piano and take requests from the girls. What precious memories!
So that last night after we put the boys to bed we laid on the floor with the girls and shared memories and cried. The truest feelings of bitter sweet were overwhelming to us. So sad to leave the place that held some of our dearest memories, but so excited to start a new adventure.
Man, did it ever feel like that Sunday night as we gathered to worship in our half constructed new worship space for Impact. I was standing next to Aly as she erupted into tears. She said the old space holds so many memories: kid zone dance parties, exploration of arts, just running around with friends while parents are talking forever after church, a hilarious list of costumes worn to every single trunk or treat. All three of our girls were baptized there.
So many life changing moments took place for so many of our Impact family in that space at 1070 Hudson. Lives transformed. Relationships restored. Gifts discovered. It's a special place.
But there is a bond for some that goes even deeper. That space was where so many discovered the unconditional love of Jesus that gives hope and peace and purpose. Lives were changed. And so many weddings were celebrated... So many gorgeous brides walked down that center isle. But also so much heartbreak. So many funerals and goodbyes. So much heaviness. The walls of that space have heard the loudest hardy laughter and the deepest heart wrenching cries.
So it's ok to mourn in change when it's good or bad because it's good to remember. we have sung this song a lot at Impact, and I listened to it this morning it made me think of our Impact family. Mountain tops and battle fields. Rejoicing and mourning. Laughter and Tears.
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Change is hard sometimes, but necessary. We still miss things about our old house, but this new house has new memories--some that we wouldn't have been able to make at our old house. The boys have had countless adventures in the woods here. The girls have had bonfires and get togethers with friends. They have gotten ready for all high school dances here together, had pre-soccer game dinners with friends, many long hot tub heart to hearts and walks through the woods. We've shed tears and cried so hard from laughter. Highs and lows, good and bad and ugly and beautiful have all been shared inside these new walls and now that I'm here I wouldn't change a thing because really it's the people that made those memories. We are the Holdridge family whether we are at 121 Parnell or 1119 Fero.
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