Sixteen then and sixteen now

Ok.  This isn't going to be all about me, but today I suddenly had a throwback to my sixteenth birthday! I had the flu the day before my party, but of course I had to show up at school the next day so my friends knew the party was still on.  My dad grilled hamburgers, and my mom took care of the rest.  Oh, and we didn't have cake.  We had scotcharoos!  The only other thing I remember was we all hopped into cars to drive to a park to play volleyball, and some of us were standing in the car up through the sunroof.  I was smart like that.  You can almost see my pegged jeans in this picture!  Which by the way Kami tried to show me "this cool new way to roll your jeans" the other day, and I was not for a second going to let her generation take an ounce of credit! I've got many pictures including my senior pictures to prove it!

Then in the same weekend my mom took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Garcias, where Chris, Missy, Elsie, Krista, Angie, Tracy and Jennifer surprised me for another birthday celebration. And the best part... check out the sweet mini caboodle.  I was obviously thrilled!

Fast forward to today.  I have a daughter now, and today is her sixteenth birthday.  We had so much fun planning one surprise after another with the help of Kami's sweet friend, Megan.  I didn't know it, but I'm apparently an outstanding liar.  So Kami's class went to the Detroit Institute of Art.  Over two hours away, and it just so happens that Kami's awesome uncle lives right in Detroit.  So he showed up at the museum and surprised her with the gift of her love language...cupcakes from a pretty cool bakery.

She thought her day had just been made, but then Megan took a detour on the way home and surprised Kami with pedicures.  Surprise #2 success.

Then they walked into the basement with party poppers (yes, that is "poppers" not poopers), kazoos and yet another "SURPRISE!".  And she cried. So falling off the table flat on my back, slamming my head on the concrete and basically breaking my body at 1am while trying to decorate was worth it.

So today is Kami's actual birthday.  Sixteen.  It's just the weirdest thing for me to think back to that day I turned sixteen.  It doesn't feel like it was that long ago, and now my daughter is turning 16.

The sixteen year old version of me and Kami both love Jesus, love family and love friends. We would've totally hit it off and been great friends.  We both have a closeness with our siblings and parents that is special.  We both have a desire to be a light in a dark world.  We want to guard our hearts, but the challenge comes when we have to take a stand and turn away from situations that are hard to walk away from. Oh, we are also both strongly opinionated, and don't have to say anything to let you know what we are thinking, because it's all over the facial expression.

The difference lies in our stories that God has planned out for us.  She's had to face challenges that I never did.  She has been through physical trama that has been devastating at times. I was in a Christian  high school, and didn't have to experience some of the day to day sludge that she does in a public school, but that's only made her stronger.  My dad didn't embarrass me... 

Kami, it's been so fun to look through pictures of the last sixteen years.  You've always been so adorable.  You remember that was my word for you when you were littler?  It still remains true.  Adorable because as a little girl you had the cutest way about you with your curls and olive skin and very serious nature, but most contagious giggle.  And still you're easy to adore.  You're beautiful, and who you are is beautiful.  You're kind, funny, huggable and loveable.  You want to be who God has created you to be even though some days get heavy or exhausting.

You're becoming your own person, and I'm having to let go more and more.  Sometimes the hardest thing is to just let you have your own opinion if it's different than mine.  I want you to have the best life you can have, not necessarily free of hardship, but my hope is for you to be able to go through the awesome mountaintop days and the lowest darkest days knowing there is hope and knowing where your ultimate peace and joy come from.  So I came up with 16 little pieces of advice that will hopefully steer you towards that way of thinking... because I know it's your favorite thing ever when I give you unsolicated advice:)

1.  Guarding your heart and protecting your mind from what you see, hear and do will follow you into adulthood.  Your mind and heart won't forget, and those decisions will dramatically affect your future realationships. (Philippians 4:8)
2.  Finding your gifts and what your good at is important, but love and kindness is something you can be and do until your old and unable to do anything else.  Develop that. (Ephesians 4:32)
3.  So much time and energy goes into sports, drama, music and academics and we love those things, but they should never become your identity.  Your character, who you are as a child of God is where your identity should lie.  When you fully understand who you are in Christ you will be most free, and when you are free you will love life, and when you love your life you become someone who helps others learn to love their life.  Free people free people. (2 Corinthians 1:22; Galatians 5:1)
**Love yourself.  As soon as you hear thoughts in your head about you that you would never say to a friend (ie. "you're so stupid", "disgusting") know those are lies.  Dont' entertain those lies for a second.

It's so much easier to love others when you love yourself.

4.  Don't take it personally.  Hurt people hurt people.  When someone is hurtful to you remember it's coming from a place of hurt. Understanding that makes it so much easier to forgive.  Give the benefit of the doubt.  When it seems like someone meant something for harm assume they didn't.  Find the misunderstanding and see it for that... misunderstanding.  (1 Corinthians 13:7; Isaiah 61)
5.  Don't try to be noticed by a guy especially by being something you are not.  The right one will notice you without you trying. Just be who you are, because who you are is enough. (Psalms 139:14)
6.  Fill your mind with truth.  If it's filled with truth then there won't be room for lies.  God's Word is rich truth.  Know it.  Memorize it. Meditate on it. Talk about it. Live it. (Joshua 1:8)
7.  Don't chase down drama.  A person who is always surrounded by drama is usually the one causing. procede with great caution. (Proverbs 13:20)
8.  More money will never satisfy.  Hold on to it loosely.  Character and integrity far outweighs your financial worth. (Proverbs 22:1)
9.  Be generous.  It does feel so good to give even when it feels like you don't have enough to give.  God blesses a heart that gives freely.  Not just money, time, encouragement, love. (Proverbs 11:25; 1 Timothy 6:18)
10.  If you start feeling down find someone to serve or something nice to do for someone else.  Getting yourself busy with loving others is one of the greatest ways to get your eyes off of yourslef and pull out of a funk. (Romans 12:9-13)
11.  Write.  Even if it's just a quick thought.  Some moments get lost and forgotten until we go back and read about it.  And sometimes it feels like we've gotten no where until we go back and read our thoughts from a while back. (Psalm 77:11)
12.  Do the best you can in whatever you do.  Don't just give what's required, but do your best.
There will always be someone who is better at whatever it is (sports, academics, music, art, etc.) learn to rejoice with that person and for that person, and don't allow someone elses giftedness to shut you down or give up. (Colossians 3:23)
13.  Hug. Who cares if people feel awkward.  Hug them anyway. (2 Corinthians 13:12)
14.  Dance.  Who cares if peole look at you funny or even if you're the only one dancing.  If you feel like dancing then dance! (John 10:10; Galations 1:10)
15.  Trust God.  There will be a lot of unknowns.  There may be some scary unknowns and there will be heartbreak.  Know that God is not surprised by anything.  He walks with you and closely to you through it all and his plan for you is perfect for you. (Proverbs 3:5,6; Jeremiah 29:11)
16.  Be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Listen.  Don't be trying to think about what you're going to say next.  Just listen with humility and a teachable spirit. (James 1:19)

Kami, I love being your mom.  I love cracking up with you.  I love shopping with you (as long as you don't ask to stop at biggby for the 1,000 time).  I love our conversations about life, friendship, future, perspective, God and even the talks that can be frustrating... I'm just so thankful we can talk through it.  I love that we can share shoes and clothes (except for the days I want those polka dot flip flops and you wore them to school).  I love how you are with our family and with your friends.  I love you and I love who you are.  Happy Sweet 16!