Here's to 50

I've had this lingering thought that I can't shake. It's on repeat, and sometimes will impact my responses to the tedious annoyances or unmet expectations, but other times it passes through my mind and I ignore it. It's simple really, and maybe morbid, but just true: We are one tragedy away from none of this mattering.

I've found myself fretting over things like finding a dress for both of my girls upcoming weddings, or bothered that my kids keep leaving their stuff on the stairs,  or I've just been taken out by the snarky reaction of one of my kids. Or someone just cut into my lane and made me slow down, or I hear that something has been said about me that is hurtful or untrue. These things do matter, but to the degree that they can effect my mood or take over my thoughts is astounding

Tragedy can so swiftly reframe our take on that thing that lingers in my brain, reminding me of what's truly significant...It's happened too often. To name a few, starting from early elementary years I remember we were on our way home from piano lessons in the orange Volkswagen, and my dad shared with me that my friend, Aaron, was hit by a car and wasn't going to live. I stopped caring that I hated practicing piano. I was at a soccer tournament and got a call that Alex was killed in a car accident. The game was a big deal, but not anymore. My dad called to tell me my mom had stage four cancer. "What's for dinner?" became nothing. Even hearing of a story of someone I don't personally know...Aly is a nurse  in the PICU. We regularly hear of families facing the unimaginable. We can literally have these jolts daily, but so so quickly whiplash back to allowing the insignificant and inconsequential consume us yet again. At least that's what happens to me. The shock fades and I slip right back into the space that once again robs me of gratitude. 

We hear people when they lose a loved one or have near death experiences say, "hug those you love just a little longer or a little tighter. Tell them you love them." And we heed that advice, but it doesn't take long to hop right back into the old and natural patterns of being sidetracked by the lesser, trivial matters. We've even had our own close calls. Caleb flipped the quad with a friend on it. They would've been heard under water if it weren't for the tiny tree that somehow stopped the quad rolling further. The girls and I were in a bad car accident that only ended in staples stitches, but could've been so much worse. The list is long of what could've been, and I'm overwhelmed by gratitude, but how the silly stuff can pull my face like a toddler does to get our attention, and just put me in the trance where I just so freely hand over my peace, my joy, my gratitude to the enemy for him to feed. 

How can I manage the kinds of weight on my heart and mind accurately weighing ? How can I put these things in their right place? I want my mind consumed by what weighs on the heart of God, and then allow Him to take on the things that weigh on my mind. The small and the big things.

The best way I know to do this is to feed my mind with the truth of scripture. It's so true that our view and belief of who God is will be the lense by which we create our world view and perspective of life in general.