Our Kids Finally Meet

It's so strange to say "kids".  I'm so used to saying "the girls".   I tried saying "the girls and the boys", but that's weird... Another new normal... our kids, the kids... still getting used to it.

So picking up where I left off on the last post...

We were consistantly getting texts from Kami, our oldest, "where are you?", "are you almost here?", "how are the boys doing?", etc.  To give a little back story-- Kami is 13.  I have had adoption stirring in my heart off and on for the last 5 or so years.  Without me saying a word God was already working on Kami's heart also.  I hope this doesn't offend, but I think it's cute and funny.  A few years ago Kami had these pictures of random little African babies on her cork board appear.  So I asked who they were.  Her response, "I printed them off at school.  Aren't they so cute?"... huh?... me: "right, but who are they?" Kami:  "I don't know.  I just was looking at baby images, and I've always wanted to have a black baby.  I want to adopt some day".  I cracked up, and loved her sweet innocence. So this was a long time coming for her...

So, anyhow, we finally pulled into my parents drive with our girls and their cousins waiting.  The girls beat us to opening the doors to get the boys out, and immediately Kami started crying, so I did, but it was such a sweet moment.  Joshua responded so well to them.  Both boys were pretty stunned.

Waiting and waiting...

First family of 7 photo

Tay passing off her "youngest" status

                     
                                             Aly                                          My brother, Brady

Kami holding the 2 youngest cousins        My Sis-in-law, Kristen                             Gramma

Dove into Joshua and Caleb's presents right away.  I thought this might be the time they get overwhelmed... the boys just adjusted into every situation so well.

                                     
                             PopPop holding the very tired, Caleb--   my sister, Angela

 We went inside and made the introductions.  My family tried to be so careful to give space, but the boys didn't seem too effected one way or the other.  It was about time for afternoon naps US time, but I had no clue if the boys would take one.  We laid them down, and they were out.

Jason and I were tired, but functioning on adrenaline, so we stayed up and just talked and shared about our trip.

So dinner comes around, and we were still trying to learn what the boys liked or didn't like.  Joshua had a major problem with shoving all the food in front of him in his mouth as fast as he could before he could even begin to chew it.  He also would just guzzle water like it was going out of style.  My first thought on the water thing was, "oh, no, diabetes", but this was when the adoptive mom facebook groups came in handy.  I just posted a few questions like, "when you brought your child home did you notice... or how did you handle...".  That was very encouraging and very helpful.

The boys went to bed without a peep around 8.  Joshua slept 13 hours straight, but Caleb woke up 2 times.  He was so conditioned to wake up, take a bottle, then go back to sleep.  It wasn't a big deal to me, because he was at least seeming to get that it was night time (it wasn't a big deal...yet.  A few nights of this feels a lot different at 38 than it did at 25).

The next morning Joshua drank a ton of water, and ate...malto meal.  That stuff is gross, but I wanted to start with bland foods, and since chewing seemed to be an issue for him I thought that might be a good place to start.  He puked all the water and malto meal up (looked like about a gallon of water!).  So again I posted a question on facebook.  Countless moms said that their child was tested for diabetes, and all kinds of things, but they learned that drinking water was basically a soother for their child or a coping mechanism.  I do believe that was part of Joshua's problem, but he definitely was not feeling well for the whole day.

The next day was Sunday.  My mom caught a stomach bug of some sort.  It's possible that it was the same thing Joshua had.

We all braved chic-fil-a on Monday for lunch.  But we really tried to keep the activity level to a minimum.  My brother lives next door to my parents, so they had their place to go, and my sister got a hotel, so we could be the only ones at my parents.  Everyone was so good about giving space.  It seemed to us that Joshu and Caleb were beginng to get that Jason and I were the main care-givers at least, but we knew so much attachment still needed to take place.

After a sweet time with my family we left for home on January 1.  We were welcomed home by so many supportive friends who have walked this journey with us.  It was so overwhelming to walk down the gate and see all the signs and faces of our Impact community, and adoptive family friends.

                     

Joshua sharing his balloons with his friend, Anya, who was also from Jane's House and came home the

same week. 

Brandon Mulnix, paparazzi friend and Slias' dad:)            Sarah and Hannah, who was at Jane's House.

Sisters!!

 
The Dood family with Kobe, Caleb's friend from Engida orphanage.  They were on our first trip wtih us.

 One of Joshua's future teammates, Carter:)

Overall, our trip home was flawless.  We are blessed, encouraged and thankful.

I have to say that since we have been home I have come to see the major advantage we have in having a Taylor, Aly and Kami.  Our girls are a HUGE part of why this new normal seems so easy.  I know so many families don't have the help of eager 9,11 and 13 year old girls.  The down side...Joshua cries every-single-morning when I drop them off at school.  He loves his sisters.

It is imperative to us that the girls do not resent us or their brothers, so we do our best to guard them from too much responsibility with them.  But it is also important for them to pull their weight, because we are a family, and we all need to contribute.  But so far they love getting to put the boys to bed, or feed them...not so great on diaper duty, but they will do it as a team:) if I'm not available.

I'm struck with guilt at times when Taylor wants to read to me, but I need to help one of the boys with something.  Or the girls want to have a friend over, but there isn't really anywhere to go in the house except the living room if the boys are sleeping.  So the girls have made sacrifices, but Jason and I work to keep the communication lines open for them to let us know how they are feeling about life, this new family of ours, etc.  We have a young single girl living with us that offered to stay with the boys the other day so we could take the girls out for some "grown up" time at a restaurant.  But even then we had two spills at the table:)

Our house is definitely crowded.  Aly and Tay have loft beds, and share a room with Kami, but so far that is what they want.  I love eaves dropping on their conversations after we say goodnight.  They are open to talk about school situations, funny stories from the day or just silliness.  Sometimes they choose to pray together without our promptings.  Everynight they say, "I love you".  And on the upside of the crammed quarters... I don't know that my girls would have these sweet interactions with each other if they weren't in the same room.

Aly and Kami had a youth group retreat last weekend, and couldn't wait to get back to see their brothers (and little sister too, of course) :).

This large family of ours is fun.  I'm so glad God called us to adoption.  I'm so thankful and blown away at how His hand has been on us, His presence hovering over us, His peace has reigned in us and his joy is filling us.  God is good.